WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE?
VOLUNTEERS CORNER
One of the biggest stresses on membership in volunteer and on-call fire departments is the impact department activities have on family life. If we are not aware of these effects on our personal life when we first join the fire department, the realities soon teach us. Being a member of a volunteer or an on-call department means an unplanned life, missed events, cold meals, and interrupted sleep. Social events and vacations are scheduled around the department. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant events often are put on hold when the pager activates. While members with spouses and children are greatly affected, single individuals with no children also can become stressed by the demands of the job. Not all of the effects, however, are obvious or understood by the firefighter. What 1 discovered in my household when I returned from fighting a fire one New Year’s live made me realize this. 1 ask you. Do you know what is going on at home while you are out fighting a fire?
This question, of course, does not pertain only to volunteers. But the nature of the volunteer service, which requires responders to depart for the incident site from home, increases family members’ awareness of our day-to-day responses. When fires occur while I am on duty, my family is not as acutely aware of what is happening because I am at “work” and am not leaving them to go to the scene.
FAMILY CONCERNS
1 responded to a house fire not too far from my residence on New Year’s Eve. In my opinion, there was nothing unusual about the dispatch. I said my quick gotxibyes. promised to be home before midnight. and left. (It was approximately 9:30 p.m ; I’m an optimist.)
I arrived quickly and gave an initial report on the radio. It was a “working fire” that would require a rapid interior attack. Lines were stretched, and attack crews entered. During the fire, various eommunications were transmitted over the radio. They were typical of a fireground: “add more pressure, ventilate, stretch another line, send in an overhaul team,” and so on. While the traffic was being transmitted, many of the interior sounds of the fire, including falling debris, water flowing, fire crackling, and so forth, also were heard in the background. Fortunately, the fire was extinguished rather quickly, and I made it home just before the New Year came.
Instead of the warm welcome I expected because I beat the clock, I found that my two daughters, ages five and 10, had been crying since I left. They were afraid for my safety. They had heard all of the radio traffic and realized that there was a fire and that I could be in danger.
After some discussion. 1 came to understand some of their fears. They had attended numerous fire safety programs explaining the dangers of fire, the need to get out of a fire, and the fact that people get seriously hurt or even killed in fires. With this information ingrained in their minds, they listened to the radio communications of the entire fire. Like many firefighters, I have radios and scanners all over my house so I don’t miss any radio traffic. My family heard everything being said and painted a picture of the worst scenario.
With no real understanding of our training in safe fire practices, the protective clothing worn, the various types of fires, and the conditions present, they could draw conclusions based only on their experience and education. As a result. I felt that I had to lessen the burden on my family and understand their perspective of the fire service and the stresses placed on them. 1 had to realize that, regardless of what I feel, other people in my family w orry about my safety. This concern is felt by all our loved ones: spouses, parents, siblings, children, and close friends. 1 held some discussions with my daughters and the rest of my family. We talked about fire, the lessons they learned about it, and the training I (firefighters) undergo. I explained the response process, the equipment we wear, the constant attention given to safety, and the tactics used at a fire. The discussions seemed to have a positive impact. By validating their feelings. I helped them to better understand the circumstances surrounding fire incident responses.
ADDRESSING THE CONCERNS
Since then, I also have tried to involve family members more in fire department activities. They have been allowed to attend and observe training programs. The equipment is more thoroughly explained to them than during a routine tour. They see, feel, and touch the equipment and are acquainted with the safety features. They have observed training burns so they can understand that firefighting can be done relatively safely.
1 realized that I had to relate to the level of understanding of each family member. I used a different approach for my five-yearold daughter than for the 10-year-old. I also realized I had not done a good enough job of explaining the job to my wife. She since has attended some training burns that hopefully have given her a different and more optimistic perspective.
Department members generated other ideas, such as holding a class for members’ families. During their initial training, recruits are given one night off and are responsible for sending at least one family member or friend to this special class. Firefighters and training personnel explain the department to their family members as well as those of other department personnel. The department’s perspective is explained, support is offered, and the positive and negative aspects of being related to a firefighter are presented.
We also implemented monthly support meetings for spouses. Most of the time they don’t talk about fire, but they get an opportunity to be with other people who face the same circumstances. All problems are not solved, but participants realize their feelings are not unique.
We sometimes are quite selfish in our devotion to the fire service, which is greatly appreciated by most people in our community. Even once in a while, however. we need to step back and address the ‘ concerns closer to home. I know my family will always be worried w’hen I walk out the door, but maybe I can help them to understand a little better why I do it and the preparations I have made to try to make sure I come back.
