By Dick Brown
Writing for the NVFC
“Suck it up, buttercup – if you can’t take the heat, you might need to get out of the kitchen!” I’m probably not the only one who was told that, or something similar, when we had our first encounter with death as a firefighter. Fortunately, the fire service has progressed past that method of dealing with mental health issues, but it can still be hard for firefighters to recognize when they need help.
In my time of service, I have had the benefit of being mentored by many wonderful folks. At a conference a few years back, I was honored to sit and talk with a retired captain with a large department in Texas. As we talked about our experiences and the many things that we had seen and dealt with, he just shook his head and said that he thought that we were going to see things that we had never seen. Things that we had not dealt with before, that we couldn’t have imagined in our wildest nightmares.
And he was right. It has now become routine to experience mass shootings in schools, the workplace, shopping malls, even in houses of worship. As the fire service, it’s not necessarily our job to try to figure out why this is happening, but it is our job to mitigate the aftermath and to deal with the results of the carnage. After we have treated the last patient and loaded them into the ambulance, or the coroner’s van, we head back to the firehouse and get ready for the next call. But it doesn’t always go that smoothly. We can’t “unsee” what we have seen. We can push it aside and ignore it for a while, but it can sometimes come back to haunt us when we least expect it.
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Recollections from the most difficult calls may come back in the form of nightmares or sleepless nights or can manifest in a more serious condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is my opinion that firefighters all suffer from some form of post-traumatic stress. There are many influences that may lead to it becoming a dis-order or an injury. Because firefighters are for the most part “type A” personalities, it can be difficult to admit that you may need help. Often, just sharing with your crew or someone that you trust can be beneficial to dealing with the stress of the traumatic event.
Many departments have chaplains and peer support available to their members. I have served my department for the last 32 years and as I have gotten older and slower, I transitioned into the role of chaplain and peer support. As someone who has spent many years on the engine, I am fortunate to have the credibility of my fellow firefighters and I have been welcomed with open arms.
Over the last 12 or so years, I have had the support of the chief to attend multiple training classes that have to do with critical incident stress management (CISM). The International Crisis Incident Stress Foundation (ICISF) provides the basis for much of the training available to the fire service. One of the questions that I am often asked is: “When do you need to do a debriefing or defusing?” That can be a difficult question to answer, and the best I can say is that you need to know your folks. It can depend on the nature of the call as well as if the patient or victim is someone you know.
Our agency covers several small communities over a 165-square-mile area, and because of the limited population in our district I often know the patient/victim. That can be a double-edged sword as it can be a comfort to the family to see a familiar face in the middle of chaos, but it can also be very difficult to have to work on a friend. There are times when a particular call can cause you to have a difficult time dealing with it, but I have found that chronic exposure to call after call can have a profound effect on your mental health.
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- UNDERSTANDING POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER
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We may not talk about the struggles we are having for various reasons. Because I am involved not only with the fire department as a chaplain, but also with the local hospital as one of their volunteer chaplains, I had a very tough year in 2021. I was involved in 68 deaths of strangers, friends, and kids. I felt that because I was the chaplain, I could simply “pray” my way out of my struggles. My faith is strong and the center of my very being, but I still struggled. I simply refused to “give myself permission” to not be okay. It was only after I melted down after the death of a 10-day old baby that I realized that I had a problem. We were visiting our twin five-year-old grandkids and something that they did caused me to recall an event from nine years ago, and I reacted badly and ran out of the room. Only after I settled down did I finally give in to: “Hey, I might just have a problem.”
After realizing that I needed to seek professional help, I was able to find a local licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) who has been incredibly helpful to my beginning the process of healing. After the first visit, she diagnosed me with PTSD, a diagnosis that I was none too happy to accept. We have continued to meet on a regular schedule, and she has made several suggestions of methods and changes for me to continue to heal.
I was also blessed to have acquired a dog that I was going to train as a therapy dog for use in and around the fire station. His name is Rodney, and he is certified as a registered therapy dog that I use for many different first responder’s organizations locally. A funny thing happened after we bonded as a team – he started to notice when I was stressed after returning home from calls. He would meet me at the front door, even at 2:00 a.m., and would jump up in the chair with me and crawl into my lap and would not leave me alone. We have started the process to train him as my service dog as well as a therapy dog for others.
In conclusion, we see and deal with traumatic events on a chronic basis, and it can be difficult to admit that we are having problems dealing with the aftermath. We can feel that it is a sign of weakness to acknowledge that and just try to “suck it up” and get by. It is a sad day when we look at the year-end data and see that we lose more firefighters to suicide than to on-duty deaths. No deaths are acceptable in our profession, but they do happen. There is no excuse for you or your brothers or sisters to suffer through mental health issues with all of the resources available to us. On the National Volunteer Fire Council (NVFC) Web site, there is a program called “Share the Load” that includes a directory of local behavioral health practitioners for almost every state. There are many resources available to help us when we finally recognize the need. All we have to do is ask for help. Be well and be safe!
Dick Brown is a member of the Calaveras Consolidated Fire Protection District in Valley Springs, California. He has served the district for the last 32 years in all positions, including fire chief. He currently serves as the department chaplain and peer support lead. He has been a delegate to the National Volunteer Fire Council for the last 15 years and serves as a deputy director and member of the committee for volunteers for the California State Firefighters Association as a retired life member. He and his dog, Rodney, are certified as a therapy dog and handler and serve fellow first responders and at the local hospital as a volunteer chaplain.
