Editor’s Opinion | By David Rhodes
It’s hard to believe that it has been a year since our friend, a mentor to many, and my predecessor, Bobby Halton, passed away. I miss not being able to solve the world’s problems during our daily phone chats and the sarcastic humor that often came through in his many text messages. In case you haven’t noticed, my style is somewhat different. I don’t think I have quoted any of the ancient philosophers or journeyed too deeply into historical references. So, for those of you who may miss that angle—and as a tribute our old friend and mentor—I give you the following:
The original Mentor is a character in Homer’s epic poem The Odyssey. Mentor served as the trainer and counselor of Odysseus’s son, Telemachus, when Odysseus went to fight in the Trojan War. The care of the kingdom was left to Mentor, and his job was to make sure that he provided the wisdom and guidance to Telemachus to continue success. (There you go, Boss, I hope that made you smile!)
We think of our mentors as experienced and trusted advisers. In the fire service, the process of who becomes your mentor happens organically based on who you associate with and who gains your trust. Some organizations assign mentors. These assigned mentors have their place, but I like mentors who develop out of trust instead of just obligation. These people become the most important influencers of your career growth and sanity.
Early in your career, you have many individuals influencing you. They are typically perceived more as coaches and instructors than mentors, but you do start to develop some relationships that eventually lead to more of a mentoring type relationship. Getting outside of your own organization leads to even more opportunities to identify and meet those who will influence you. I was fortunate early in my career to work for an organization that encouraged outside interaction and training. This led to my meeting some very influential fire service people who would serve as a team of mentors throughout the years.
The longer you are in the business, the more experienced you get at losing mentors. This can be the result of a job change, a transfer, or a family move across the country. As you continue on in your career, you experience mentors retiring and moving on. They are never completely gone and out of the picture, but the frequency of interaction with them diminishes. And, as time goes on, many of them grow older and eventually pass. This is a tough time, as you suddenly seem very much alone in your quest for higher wisdom and guidance.
I have been through all these phases over the past 38 years. One of those we lost far too early was Scott Millsap, who passed away from cancer at only 45 years old. He was a larger-than-life, charismatic leader with an infectious personality. I don’t think he ever considered himself a mentor to me. To him, we were just great friends with a common mission of improving ourselves and the firefighters we trained. He was always the one motivating and keeping everyone’s batteries fully charged. One day I asked him flat out, “Where do get your motivation from?”
“From you guys,” he said. “I get a lot more from you guys than you get from me.”
I was 34 years old, so that didn’t register, and I thought he was just trying to make me feel good. I dismissed it just as a very kind response from a man suffering and dying from cancer. I continued to wonder what the real answer was. When Bobby Halton answered the question the same way some 20 years later, I paid closer attention and could see it happening in his interactions with others.
Now, I see the truth and sincerity in their answers. You really do start to feed off the curiosity and energy of those younger members who have been around you for a while and consider you a mentor, although, up to this point, you have just considered them to be good friends with a common mission. These really are the best mentoring relationships. If you have someone who declares to you that he will be your mentor, it’s a pretty conceited attitude that he assumes he has something great to offer you. I will take the naturally occurring friendships that serve to mentor me over any formalized structured system any day.
It has been said that everyone you work with or for is a mentor, that even those who fail to meet your expectations are providing you insights on how not to do things. This is inaccurate. Everyone serves as a positive, negative, or neutral example, but they are not necessarily mentors. Mentors are special people. They fill the gaps, offer clarity in the fog of war, and guide you through a process of answering your own questions. They rarely hand you a ready-made answer. They make you think. They are more strategic, therapeutic, spiritual gurus for you than they are tactical or educational advisers.
I continue to draw inspiration from those of you who show enthusiasm—devouring knowledge, seeking continuous improvement, and doing great things. I live somewhat vicariously through your accomplishments, much like parents do with their athletic kid who is much better at sports than they ever were. I will continue to resist the formal title of mentor to anyone in the business because, frankly, mentors are old people who have been around and seen and done a lot of stuff. I’m just a one-year rookie at this job! However, I’ll continue to enjoy the new and old friendships that color this fire service journey, and I will still miss the hell out of those who are gone.
