I know this monster all too well—it ruined many a restful night’s sleep! I could never train hard enough to please it, but I tried daily to satisfy its hunger. The key word here is “try,” as I spent countless hours trying to prepare myself mentally, physically, and emotionally to handle whatever came my way as a company officer. I lived in fear of failure! Not failure in the “I tried my best but fell short” kind of way, but failure that would get one of crew members or the public hurt or killed. I believe it’s one of the things that made me a good officer, and a bad one—I could never please myself or the monster lurking over my shoulder. That being said, I can’t imagine the torment my soul would have endured if I hadn’t trained as hard as I did (and still do). It would have been unbearable. As with everything, training is key to success and confidence—and peace of mind and soul. I strive for an elusive perfection and hope that I fall somewhere that’s competent.
I doubt I’m alone in this self-imposed unrest, but know that you must keep training your mind and body for the expected and unexpected—because if you don’t, the accountability monster will find you, and no one wants that visit!
STAY FIRED UP, and train!
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