THE POWER OF THE HUMAN TOUCH
BY MICHAEL F. STALEY
There is power in our hands. I first discovered the indisputable power of the human touch as an EMT in an ambulance as I held the hand of an elderly woman we were transporting from a Daytona nursing home to the hospital for what we both knew would be her final stay. Although most nursing home patients we transported were strangers to me, I was familiar with this woman. She was a lovely, unassuming person who had no family and had received no visitors in the 15 years we had been responding to calls at her facility. On this particular day, we rode without lights or siren. There was no need to rush. This time she was critically ill and her physicians had given the orders: Do not resuscitate. Medically, there was nothing for me to do, so I reached down and took her fragile hand. As we rode along, I chatted about the beautiful day: bright Florida sunshine, the deep blue Atlantic Ocean sweeping sparkling Daytona sand, palm trees, tall buildings, and the special joys of our living here. She didn`t respond, but I hoped she was listening. When we arrived at the emergency room, I kept her hand nestled in mine as I helped settle her onto a gurney. In an extraordinary moment that would change my life, she squeezed my hand in a silent “thank you“ and died.
In holding her hand, I gave her comfort. In holding mine, she spoke volumes. There was a lifeline of understanding between us in her last moment.
Since that day, I have thought a great deal about the power of the human touch. As firefighters, we deal with crisis every day, and we know that pain can be relieved, fear can be eased, strength can be gained, and help can be given with a simple touch. A man or woman can reach out in the darkness when no one can see, in the roar of a fire when no one can hear, and in the chaos of emergency when no one can reason, and touch. And that touch will be speak louder than words in a language that the heart understands.
THE HANDSHAKE: MUCH MORE
THAN A GREETING
When we meet another person, one of the first things we do is reach out and touch each other. We shake hands. The origin of the handshake is said to have been a display of open palms to establish a peaceful greeting. The raising of the hands demonstrated that the person had no weapon and that the greeting was relaxed–no fists. Eventually, the hand was extended to be grasped. This probably was to encourage a counterdisplay of peaceful intention. The handshake established a cordial connection between people.
Today, the handshake is used to gauge the character of the person whose hand is pressed into yours. Like a palm reader who scans the life line, head line, and heart line of the palm and then draws conclusions about the total person, you make instantaneous decisions about the the person you`re greeting when you hold his hand. A limp handshake is wimpy and weak. A wet handshake is nervous and uncertain, possibly untrustworthy. A firm handshake is confident and strong. No matter what other signals you might get from the person you`re greeting, the handshake will influence your judgments. The handshake is so critical to the initial impressions between two people that human resources experts and professional etiquette observers swear that an otherwise solid deal can be destroyed or a sure employment opportunity lost if the handshake is “wrong.”
SHAKING ON IT
Shaking hands means that we have a deal, an understanding. I remember more than one dispute in the station that was settled with a discussion followed by a handshake. The discussion is to explore the issues and come to a resolution. But the matter is rarely settled until the firefighters shake hands. Why? Because the handshake establishes peaceful intentions and reaffirms the loving, human link between the people. Once you have shaken hands, friendship is sealed.
Shaking hands also seals a bargain. It`s like the signature on a contract. When two people agree to the terms of their deal, they grasp hands and shake. When you shake hands with a person, you establish honor. You are as good as your word. The other person can trust you–it`s done.
THE HAND IS COMFORT
“Say, brother, can you give me a hand?” literally means “Help me!” Giving a hand means giving your service–yourself. In this context, your hand symbolizes your whole being. I have always found it interesting that, in the face of the greatest disasters, the first thing we do is reach in. We create a little space and then reach in to comfort and help. In car wrecks in which victims are trapped, we pry open a little wedge and reach in to comfort and help. In the Oklahoma City disaster, when victims were buried in the rubble, firefighters dug out little tunnels and reached in to comfort and help. Firefighting is hands-on work. We know that the human touch is the first step toward helping and healing.
ESTABLISH THE LINK DAILY
Daily we need to remember the power of the human touch. It can start with a friendly handshake–establishing that vital link between yourself and another person–and then extend to your customers who need assistance and comfort. You want everyone around you to recognize the power, help, and healing in human touch. As I learned, you never know when you yourself might need that hand.
MICHAEL F. STALEY, a former firefighter and EMT, is a motivational speaker and heads the Port Orange, Florida-based Golden Hour Motivational Resources, through which he also provides consulting and speaking services. He can be reached at (800) 622-6453, fax (904) 788-5848, or e-mail at http://www.MIKESTALEY.com.
