By Anne Gagliano
1. Being married to a firefighter means … navy blue, lots of navy blue. If you don’t like your spouse in that color, you’d better not marry a firefighter. Navy blue, navy blue, I am surrounded by a sea of navy blue–navy blue T-shirts, navy blue uniforms, navy blue hats. Fortunately for me, I love the look of my husband in navy blue—it just happens to be his best color. When doing the laundry, the loads are typically separated as follows; whites, lights, and colors. But for the firefighter, it’s whites, lights, and navy blues; not much variety in the “colors” department. But all the frustration with the saturation of this dark color is instantly forgotten when my husband walks through the door in that navy blue uniform—wahoo, is he fine! Women love a man in uniform; there’s something so appealing about that badge, that representation of authority and strength. But be forewarned: Other women will find your husband pretty attractive as well; in fact, firefighters have “groupies.” Heads turn when they walk through grocery stores and shopping malls. I know this, for I’ve witnessed it firsthand. And to be perfectly honest, my head turns as well! Ya gotta love navy blue; it’s the color of the job.
2. Being married to a firefighter means … collections, piles and piles of collections. What do firefighters collect? They collect T-shirts; we have three storage containers of T-shirts in our closet: shirts from other departments, shirts from various stations within his own department, and shirts from different ranks and positions that have spanned his 20-plus-year career. I secretly try to discard them when I can to make space for the new ones that keep coming in. And hats, we have racks of hats. Patches and coins fill an entire drawer in our nightstand. The collections spill out into the garage as well. I was almost impaled by a hook once when I accidently knocked it over. Hooks and ladders, axes, old bunkers, boots, and helmets line the shelves and walls of our already overcrowded garage. What he intends to actually ever do with these things is a mystery to me, but ya gotta love them; these items have a character all their own. Plus, these discarded tools and regalia may have been instrumental in bringing my beloved home to me over the years, so they can stay; I’m willing to make room.
3. Being married to a firefighter means … driving is no longer a relaxing, enjoyable experience. It is quite the opposite; we race and weave through traffic as if going to a fire when we’re really just going to a movie. A gentleman never says to his wife, “Sit down, hold on, and shut up,” but the thought is in my head whenever I buckle myself into the car seat, for I know the ride will be a wild one. My firefighter’s on a mission—the mission: get there, wherever there is, as quickly as possible, unless, of course, there’s a wreck alongside the road, then all bets are off. Most people simply glance at the aforementioned wreck, wish the poor souls well, and then drive by as quickly as possible while trying to suppress the irritation the tragedy has caused in the inconvenience of traffic delays–but not the firefighter. He will pull over, leap from the car, and race to assist as needed. This plus the traffic delays will only cause us to arrive even later to our destination, but it’s no matter; ya gotta love a man who is willing to be late for the sake of helping a perfect stranger, even off-duty!
4. Being married to a firefighter means … treading lightly in the bedroom. My firefighter is easily awakened, and I mean very easily awakened. If I roll over too abruptly, he’ll sit up and demand to know what’s going on. If I yank on the covers too hard, he’ll begin to bark orders in his sleep that generally include such phrases as, “What are you idiots up to?” and “No, you’re doing it all wrong!” But the greatest error I can make in the bedroom is to accidently turn on a light; on the unfortunate occasions that I have committed this grievous offense, my poor firefighter has actually jumped from the bed and raced across the room before I could turn it off again. But it’s all right; ya gotta love a man who’s ready for anything, even in the middle of the night!
5. Being married to a firefighter means … demolition. Boy, can they destroy things! When you want to do renovations to your home, you typically need to hire a team of construction workers to even begin the deconstruction phase–i.e., to tear out a wall. For this same procedure, you need only one firefighter. We were taking out an indoor swim spa—which was basically the size of a small swimming pool—to convert the room into a home gym. I begged Mike to get help, for I believed this would be way too difficult for just one man. I was wrong. Out he went alone, armed with a sledgehammer, an old fire axe, and a tiny little electric hand saw. I went to check his progress after but a few short hours of very loud banging and, to my utter shock, found the entire fiberglass spa and all the woodwork neatly cut and stacked into manageable piles. Ya gotta love a man who’s an absolute maniac with tools!
6. Being married to a firefighter means … reliability in the midst of chaos. The firefighter schedule is erratic and unpredictable; because of this, it’s tough to finish a project, to stick to a plan, to do all that is asked of him. But when a firefighter says they’ll do something, believe me, he will. My firefighter keeps his promises, his word is gold. He may not do it according to my plan or within my exact timeframe, but one way or another he always gets the job done. Sometimes I’ll think he’s forgotten that I’ve asked him to complete a task because so much time has elapsed, but then out of the blue he’ll surprise me; he hadn’t forgotten. Emergencies may rule the moment, but they don’t rule us; somehow, some way, he always manages to find time for my needs. Ya gotta love a man who is completely 100 percent reliable, 100 percent of the time!
Anne Gagliano has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 26 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
