By Anne Gagliano
Vincent Damon Furnier was born in Detroit in 1948. The quiet, gentle, lovable son of a clergyman moved with his family to Phoenix in the late 1960s. There this young man formed a rock band in his parent’s garage with some buddies. By 1975, he was a major rock star. His successful career has now spanned five decades and today he is credited with having shaped the sound of heavy metal. Rolling Stone has dubbed him “the most beloved heavy metal entertainer of all time.” He was the first rocker to introduce horror imagery; his stagecraft and showmanship permanently transformed the genre, combining rock and roll with Broadway. He is a one-of-a-kind iconic legend; original, fantastical, and showy. He is well known for all of this, but what is not well known is that Vincent Damon Furnier, a.k.a. Alice Cooper, has been happily married for 38 years.
In 1975, 18-year-old Sheryl Goddard, a classically trained ballerina, was encouraged by her classmates to audition for Alice Cooper. “Who is she?” Sheryl asked. Sheryl, also the daughter of a clergyman, didn’t know that “Alice” was a man as she knew nothing of rock and roll. She auditioned for his upcoming global Welcome to My Nightmare Tour and was chosen for one of the two dancing positions. The tour was the first of its kind and made Alice Cooper the “Godfather of Shock Rock.” The macabre theatrics featured guillotines, electric chairs, fake blood, boa constrictors, baby dolls, dueling swords, strait jackets, and even a towering Frankenstein’s monster. The costumes were designed by Disney. Having dancers backing up the band was unprecedented at that time, and the courtship and ensuing marriage that followed were absolutely unheard of in the world of rock and roll.
Alice Cooper had had two failed relationships and was dating Raquel Welch (yes, the Raquel Welch) when he met sweet, innocent little preacher’s daughter Sheryl. One night after the show, everyone gathered in his hotel room for horror movies and pizza. Alice and Sheryl were chatting like old friends and didn’t notice the room clearing out. Pretty soon they were alone. Then she too said goodnight, and he asked her for a “goodnight kiss.” She said that kiss changed her life. Twelve months later, they were married in Acapulco, Mexico, with both of their clergyman fathers officiating. Alice Cooper continues to rock his macabre show after all these years with his wife and best girl still dancing beside him.
Alice and Sheryl have not only survived the world of rock and roll but have raised three fine children as well. Their eldest daughter Calico is a professional dancer and along with her mother performs in the show. Their son Dash is a college student, and their youngest daughter Sonora Rose is in high school. Sheryl recently told reporters that all three of their children steered clear of trouble during their teen years because “they have an intact family, the security of two parents who are honestly, sick in love with each other … there’s a trickle-down effect. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, but ours is probably one of the best I’ve ever seen.” Why have these two succeeded when most rock marriages barely last a year? Both Alice and Sheryl Cooper have said that the secret is this: “You have to do stuff together.”
Psychologists agree. Research shows that boredom is the silent relationship killer, while novel and arousing activities seem to be the powerful antidote. The more exciting the activity, the more positive the result. For example, performing an intricate, living horror show on stage together. The greater the challenge, the deeper the impact on the relationship. Teamwork, accomplishment, and thrills literally reignite that old spark as you associate one with the other.
When you “do stuff together,” it needs to be fun stuff. If positive experiences are shared with your spouse, so will positive emotions. If all you do is the same ol’ same ol’, your relationship runs the risk of becoming mundane. Here are a few suggestions of exciting or challenging things to do as a couple for those of you who are not rock stars:
Try a new hobby. Biking is exciting and will remind you of your youth. Even easier and less expensive is hiking (hiking is just a fancy word for walking). Discover trails in your area. Or even just peruse your own neighborhood streets. Get some exercise and bond at the same time. Encountering threatening dogs or peeking into neighbors’ houses can be quite thrilling.
Play tourist in your own city. You don’t have to plan an expensive trip; there is plenty to explore in your own backyard. Take short day trips to local attractions (like rock concerts or museums). Even shopping at the local malls with a nice dinner can be a fun adventure as you seek out treasures for yourselves or for others.
Develop a new business together. Talk about risky, on the edge of your seat excitement! Teamwork required. For the firefighter couple with an irregular schedule, this is doable. For example, teach classes on something you’re good at or develop a product. It doesn’t have to be a huge money making venture, it can even be volunteer work. For example, Alice and Sheryl are known for helping other rockers overcome drug or alcohol addiction; there is a similar need in the fire world. The key is to achieve or contribute and to associate these accomplishments with your relationship. Every couple is special and has something to offer.
Travel. Save up for that dream trip and do it! There is nothing like seeing the world together; the thrill of new discovery will be forever linked with your spouse.
Hang out with fun couples. Playing card games, going to the theater, and eating out become extra fun when shared with good friends. Conversation and laughter ignite passion. When your spouse is out in the world chatting and smiling, it helps you to see him in a whole new light.
Firefighters and rock stars have a lot in common. Both are adrenaline junkies. Both have a lot of gumption. And both have high divorce rates. So take note, firefighters, and learn from an old rocker who has beaten the odds. To stay happily married, don’t only do stuff with your buddies or your fellow firefighters or your kids; have adventures with your spouse once in a while too. “Do stuff together” even if it’s weird—like strapping on a strait jacket —and this will protect your relationship from hardening into drudgery.
Anne Gagliano has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 29 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
